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Showing posts from May, 2017

Types of Bitches: The HE Bitch

We are sorry. We have failed you. A few years ago, an interesting specimen was brought into our lab for study, we called this new species  Hanging elephantis because the apparatus hanging between it's leg closely resembled an elephant's trunk. The HE Bitch became a fast favorite amongst our female bitchologists because it resembled a very good-looking man. It's body was finely toned and it practiced good hygiene although it opted for far too much cologne. The HE Bitch was a smart one, too smart and we should have put it down but we just could not. It learned to manipulate all of us. Soon, the HE Bitch convinced one of our bitchologists to let it move in with her, it was not long before it was walking around in Calvin Kline thongs, eating her food and driving her car spreading it's infection. The HE Bitch apparently contained some previously unknown virus which spread, infecting men everywhere. Now they travel in packs, seeking out vulnerable women before drain...

Types of Bitches: The Gravity Bitch

A new bitch was discovered among us. Literally, among us! Right in the center of our laboratory, wearing our signature black lab coat. "Hey big head!" Is a phrase usually used when an ex comes into money or popularity and one is trying to leech off of that fame, this greeting is also a standard greeting for a gravity bitch. A Gravity Bitch is a bitch who has bent too far over causing their head to become lodged in their ass, after a time the head begins to swell, after it reaches a certain size, the head somehow develops a center of gravity so strong it rockets itself from the asshole. The Gravity Bitch is similar and different from the Insecure Bitch . Like the Insecure Bitch, the Gravity Bitch think's everyone's attention is focused on her at all times but unlike the Insecure Bitch, the Gravity Bitch lives for this attention (even if it doesn't actually exist). It is believed that attention is food for the Gravity Bitch since it will do anything to get...